Elon Musk is throwing the geo-political equivalent of a toddler tantrum at the British government and the beneficiaries of this seem to be the far-right. This would be funny, if it wasn’t another depressing nail in the coffin of democracy. There doesn't seem to be anything we can do to stop Musk running Britain’s fragile democracy over with one of his cybertrucks, which will probably catch fire afterwards. 

The world’s richest man is apparently feeling a bit miffed over something the Labour government did - perhaps they didn’t return his DM on Twitter, sorry X - and has turned his attention to UK politics. The idea of a Labour government has sent him into a frenzy. He probably thinks Keir Starmer is woke because he believes poor people should get free healthcare.

The uneasy marriage of Musk and Farage

It seems Musk’s latest hobby is to play superhero for the self-proclaimed champions of “Western values” who want to save Britain from the craft beer drinking, vegan food eating, Guardian reading, woke dweebs. He’s doing this by boosting the people who want to put migrants in concentration camps and bring back hanging. Y’know, the posh lot who claim to be men of the people because they hate trans-people and obsess over the birth rates of different ethnic groups. If I was “the people” I would be insulted by this association.

For those who have been living under a rock (how nice that must be), Musk has been using his control of the discourse, via owning Twitter, and his vast sums of money to big up Reform and Nigel Farage, so that Farage can do to the UK what Donald Trump has done to the states and trigger all the libs in the process.

This plan lasted for all of five minutes, as Musk and Farage fell out after Musk found an even more dangerous far-right figure, one Tommy Robinson, to hand a giant platform to so that he can demonise ethnic minorities. Farage, sensing Robinson’s toxicity to the crucial “racists who don’t think they’re racist” voter demographic, who he hopes to flip from being Tory (or Starmer’s Labour) backers to being Reform backers, engaged in mild criticism of Musk. Farage should have known better, as Musk’s famously fragile ego shattered. The uneasy marriage of Musk and Farage seems to be over before it started.

The fig leaf of concern

All this hot air was in the service of getting more attention for the far-right and internet billionaire edge lords - it’s so hard to tell the difference between them - and increase the strangle hold both have on ailing Western democracy. However, because they can’t say this out loud, they needed an issue to get angry about and this is where the whole thing stops being funny and starts feeling hopeless.

What was the fig leaf of concern they hid their rage hard on behind? Ah, yes, the ever-delicate topic of “grooming gangs” or “rape gangs”.

Now, before we dive into the murky waters of politicised outrage, let’s clear up a few things: there was indeed an inquiry into the infamous gangs that operated in places like Rotherham and Oldham. An inquiry that the previous government chose to ignore the recommendations of faster than a child dismissing peas at dinner time. This government should surely pick up the baton, but that would require something akin to political responsibility, a rare breed these days.

The perfect stick to beat Labour with

Musk and his new pals don’t care about the victims. Not in the slightest. This isn’t a heartfelt crusade for justice; it’s a stick to whack the Labour government with, which is why rape gangs are back in the discourse five minutes after Labour took office. It’s the perfect weapon, as it plays into everyone’s preconception that woke or political correctness is responsible for brown men raping white girls, and after that’s said everyone hits the roof and debate stops. It’s also the perfect tool for claiming all those people who make you feel bad for pointing out the privileges of being white are the real monsters. So, we don’t have to listen to them at all.

The sensible lefties are unable to stop the legions of cynical boomers across the country blaming the presence of plays exploring race in fringe theatres and the use of the phrase “settler-colonial” on BlueSky for all the pain these girls were caused.

Pointing out that this is a conspiracy theory aimed at making beetroot faced Abbot Ale drinkers even more angry at something they already hate anyway to get attention for the far-right just leads to you being called an elitist who doesn’t understand the plight of the people of Oldham, who are currently besieged in Wetherspoons by a Jihadi mob and if you think otherwise then go back to Walthamstow you posh, woke, idiot. This accusation is of course levelled by someone who went to Dulwich Colleg.

The useful idiots of fascists

Well, it’s not true and most people angry about political correctness and rape gangs care nothing for the victims of white rape gangs; that is if they care for any victims. Will you pay more tax for better services to help abuse victims? Will you vote for a party that promises this? I thought not. This is why Starmer couldn’t promise to make anything better, as swing voters would vote Tory to keep their taxes down. These same swing voters are now busy being the useful idiots of fascists. Emphasis on the idiots.

For Musk, Farage and Robinson this is a classic case of political opportunism, dressed up as concern for women and girls. Ironically, Musk, who allows misogyny to flourish on Twitter like a weed in a neglected garden, seems to think he’s the knight in shining armour here. Remember that what Musk want from women is to pop out good white babies while being the perfect victims so that all of society’s problems can be scape-goated on migrants.

There’s a special place in hell for those who feign concern for women only to wield it like a weapon against their favourite targets, especially when their favourite targets are people of colour. Musk, Farage, and Robinson have jumped on the bandwagon of outrage, claiming that the police were too scared to investigate Pakistani men for fear of being seen as racist. This, of course, is a narrative that caters to the perpetually aggrieved; those who can’t seem to differentiate between common decency and “wokeness.”

A weak bully

Their argument goes something like this: “If I can’t yell abuse at someone in a burka, then white children will be raped.” It’s a charming bit of logic that suggests that the only way to protect children is to unleash a torrent of vitriol in the name of protecting Western values from horrible brown people. When sexual violence comes up, it’s as if everyone suddenly forgets the actual victims. Instead, it’s all about blaming political correctness, feminism, and anything else that fits their pet hate.

Musk seems to think he can get what he wants – which appears to be the downfall of the woke Starmer - by aligning with the very arsonists who only like democracy when it serves their agenda. From Trump to Farage, it’s a veritable bully club, with democracy and vulnerable minorities as the victims.

Musk is eager to join them, so that he can be the weak bully who laughs at you when the tough bully pushes you over and makes you eat mud. The Richard Hammond of the group. Musk’s ego is so thin that he must be on the side of far-right rage fiends, as he can’t stand being their target. He probably thinks the far-right is the authentic voice of the people, a thought you can only have by spending too much time online hating on progressives who want billionaires to pay their taxes. This notion is also as stupid as the idea of rebranding Twitter as X.

Another painful tragedy in this long list of misery

So here we are, on the precipice of the end of democracy as the billionaires big up the far-right because they hate the left and fear the right-wing juggernaut they can’t stop or control. It’s sad, really, that the fate of democracy could end because Musk can’t handle a bit of online criticism.

The really depressing part is that the left can’t explain to the man in the street that the Musks of the world really are awful, and they should be nice to people who are different from them, without being accused of being elitist. Maybe I am elitist, he writes in his iPhone on the tube home from a London fringe theatre.

The sad thing is we’re staring into a future world shaped not by the voices that care for the victims, but by those who simply want to beat the angry drum to get more power for themselves. Another painful tragedy in this long list of misery is that it’s working.